Home « February 2014

80-100,000 (??) Invade Franklin Street !!!


Feb 21,’14:  “Logistics expert” Peter Anlyan was not there.  Nor was pulpit-pounding demagogue BullyBarber; but “easily 80-100,000 if not half-a-million” probably were.... late Thursday night on Chapel Hill’s fabled Franklin Street.  NC statutes require every mob to have its own alliterative name so the event was immediately labeled Tar Heel Thursday.

Delirious Tar Heel celebrants used a regular season win over the hated Blue Devils to romp and stomp and jump thru bonfires and generally behave as if they had never won a basketball game before......  


“THIS is so AWESOME”..... “THIS is what “going to college” at Carolina is all about”..... “I can’t wait to have grandchildren so I can tell them I was here!” ...... “Obama has taken away my insurance.  Sure, my degree has zero market value.   But tonight nothing matters except WE BEAT DOOK!.....

These were a sampling of the comments heard from the 10 of 1,000s of exuberant celebrants along the celebrated thoroughfare.

NOTE:  BobLee and I played rock - paper - scissors to see who got to write this one.   My rock broke his scissors.

Earlier in the evening, Royz Boys had notched their 19th victory of the season.   “Now we are only ONE WIN away from #20 !” said one inebriated bonfire jumper.  “..... and we did it without PJ Whatshisname.  Un-BEEE-lievable”  

I thought beating Florida State on Monday was as good as it gets” said one celebrant “but to Beat Dook in The Dean Dome in mid-February WOW..... this must be what that astronaut meant by “one giant leap for mankind?”

“I’m no logistical expert like that Jim Goodmon stooge Peter Anlyan, but I’ve seen my share of over-the-top Franklin Street mobs and this is a doozy” exclaimed a guy identified only as “Mort”.

UNC Athletics spokesman Steve Kirschner who estimates Kenan Stadium crowds using a Ouija board was unavailable for comment.

UNC's Vice Chancellor for Official Statements stated on behalf of Chancellor Charming Little Carol Folt (From Dartmouth!) that she is ".... both tickled pink AND pleased as punch to be here."

Comparisons to V-E Day and V-J Day and "Lindbergh crossing the Atlantic" were heard from the six people in Chapel Hill who had any clue what any of those were.

How many of the celebrants were "from out-of-state" and/or "members of unions" is not clear.  N&O newshound Rob Christensen says he did NOT see Rielle Hunter but likely would not recognize her anyway.

The mob woulda been much larger (heck, maybe 200,000 !!) except for a competing party being held by noted impressario Fats Thomas at an undisclosed location in deepest darkest Derm.

Watching from a rusted-out VW mini-bus were a Jim Morrison lookalike, a Janice Joplin lookalike and two drugged-up trannies both dressed like Cher.   “Whazzzz goin’ on, dude?  Where’s my bong?  Has anybody seen my bong?”.....  “We came over from Carrboro when we heard all the ruckus.  Can I throw my draft card in the fire?”

“80-100,000 Easy..... I think everybody in North Carolina is here.  Pat McCrory and Thom Tillis better wake up and realize the Tar Heels are FOR REAL..... Dan Kane can kiss my grits.” screamed a sophomore from Valdese.

A kid known androgenly as "Pat" claimed to be the first openly (1) gay - (2) dyslexic - (3) undocumented - (4) half-Filipino - (5) practicing Wicken - to ever jump thru a bonfire after beating Dook in a postponed game in mid-February.  

"We will not be satisfied until Pat's jersey is in the rafters" claimed a left-wing leprachaun calling himself Xerxes.

Dr Deborah Stroman, Chairman of the UNC Faculty Black Caucus had, just last week, asked everyone to “light a candle (to fight the hate aimed at semi-literate AfAm student-athletes)”.   No one was quite sure what the heck she meant.   Does a mini-bonfire in the intersection of Franklin and Columbia Street count?

Carolina becomes the first team in college basketball history to defeat the top four pre-season picks in a season.  

Belmont, UAB and Wake Forest become the first teams in college basketball history to beat the team that beat the top.....

The oft-maligned, occasionally beleaguered and always unpredictable Roy Williams has now defeated FOUR active fellow ring-winning coaches in one season – Pitino, Calipari, Izzo and now Krzyzewski.  If he can defeat Jim Boeheim that would be FIVE..... If he (Roy) can defeat Marc Gottfried AGAIN next week it would still be only four since Gottfried has not won a National Championship ring. BUT.....

IF Gott somehow does beat Roy he would become "the first coach to beat the first coach who beat FOUR ring-wearing......"

Beating a 5-loss Duke team in mid-February is “nice” but not exactly “epic”.   If 80-100,000 (???) turn out for “this” what might happen if the team wins something that actually matters?   UNC officials are frantically trying to contact any member of Bill Barber's posse and/or “logistics expert” Peter Anlyan for their expert advice in promoting greatly over-estimated mobs.  

From behind a shrub in McCorkle Place, a diminutive man “just call me Dickie” was wearing a Carolina Way t-shirt and playing Hark The Sound on a kazoo.

♦♦♦
 
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Posted: February 21, 2014 | with 16 comments | Tagged as: UNC


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Comments
58 Wolf Kennel
For those who consider incontinence to be worth ridiculing, I'll have you know that the adult diaper industry is a $600 million a year industry.

Now THAT is something to crap your pants about!
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AP: And thats just the ones made of Kevlar!

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6/7/2014 10:58:17 PM

58 Wolf Kennel
Encore or not, truth is more important. Please tell "Moochie Fan" I would never try to have someone kicked out of a game or even ask them to shut up. Don't mind being an "old coot" but loving NC State and having a degree of courtesy can go together.
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AP: Since I wasn't there (but have been on a few occasions) I have no opinion.

Maybe the Doak ushers that asked the UNC fans to relocate did so without being asked to do so by "the old coot". Maybe Roy did not tell DD ushers to move the Presbyterian fan ?? .... Maybe the behavior of visiting fans in either / both cases was "extreme" ??? Don't know...

Recall that epic ACC Tourn game last Spring? Partisan UNC & NCSU fans were sprinkled all over with no large congregations. Without the safety of numbers, all fans "behaved". That was nice. :-)
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2/22/2014 11:56:30 AM

Camelcityheel
Beat Wake no trap game today. And let's start the Beat Liberty chants now.
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AP: For no-life-souls who storm the streets for a Feb W over Dook, would a subsequent L to Wake or State be reason to pop a cyanide pill ??

And we wonder how Obama got elected ???
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2/22/2014 9:03:35 AM

cooldela
I drove by and saw the crowd but I thought they were celebrating an early Maundy Thursday. Do they have churches in Chapel Hill?
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AP: Depends on the definition of "church". Yes, there are a few of the traditional versions, and various aberrant types most notably the Olin T Binkley squirrels who see the KJV as an antiquated Poor Richard's Almamac at best.

Chapel Hill is a municipal "Star Wars Cantina". :-)
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2/22/2014 7:56:48 AM

WildatHeart
See, us Wuffies are right. Basketball is more important than anything else at UNC.

That being said, Roy has done an amazing job this year.
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AP: Has anyone ever argued that point?
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2/21/2014 12:36:13 PM

ken
From the what its worth section, I watched the local coverage and kept up with fouls and stats, the 3 egos on ESPN that enjoy hearing themselves talk and stepping on each others words and rarely keep up with stats&fouls b/c of name dropping assoc. Also Im sure half million people were on Franklin St.
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AP: At least half-a-million !! A favorite BobLee story is the Carolina fan that would ONLY listen to Woody Durham because she knew "HE tells it like it REALLY is" !!!

And we wonder how Obama got elected.....
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2/21/2014 11:49:13 AM

TPD
This column is even more fun that the game.
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AP: And 80-1000,000 people have already viewed it since 8:30 this morning !!!

Peter Anlyan's cousin - Jake Anlyan - is my "analytics expert". Jake swears he never worked for Jim Goodmon.
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2/21/2014 11:44:34 AM

PrinceAlbert
I actually understood most, OK some, of this one. The parts I got are funny.

Who is LIndbergh?

Why is Carol Folt so short?
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AP: Lindbergh played the saxophone for Doug Clark & The Hot Nuts.

Carol Folt is short because New Hampshire is a small state and does not have room for tall people. Dartmouth is in New Hampshire.
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2/21/2014 11:34:52 AM

A Moochie Fan
Is 58WolfKennel that crazy old coot that sits about four rows behind home plate at Doak Field?

He had Carolina fans thrown out of the game last Spring for cheering. That old coot is nutz!
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AP: Yes, 58Wolf does sit four rows behind home plate at Doak Field and DOES take Wolfpack Baseball especially seriously.

I can easily imagine him reacting in the manner you describe.

Yes, he IS quite nutz which no one has ever denied.
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2/21/2014 11:28:30 AM

Jim Pomeranz
Question: Does your pal and mine Art Chansky always sit on the aisle just behind the visiting team' about five row up or was that only for last night so he could subtly cast demons on Coach K and the Blue Devils? Giving Art credit for the win when credit is not due is always a good thing with Art.

ANOTHER QUESTION: As instructed by all of the media, I watched the game cover to cover on ESPN (and listened to Dickie V and Jay B heap random praise as the wind blew), and while I understand this rivalry is God's (read that Dean Smith) gift to rivalries world wide, maybe more so that USA-RUSSIA nuclear threats, if my dear Wolfpack (dear, dear, dear) were to complete seasons above both teams as we did way back when (1973 and 1974 seasons), would that put an end to the overblown publicity coming out of the N&O, WRAL-TV and ESPN, or would they be obligated to Dook and the Tar Holes to drum up the hyper-publicity to downsize State's wannabe performance and place in the world?

ONE MORE QUESTION: Why is it to Carolina fans not okay for State fans to always want UNC to lose at everything, but it's okay for Tar Holes to wish evil on Dook and Coach (where's my cheese) K everytime out?

All the best, always...Go Pack...no matter the results!
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AP: Art sits wherever he can finaggle a freebie.

As to the global importance of Duke v UNC, since UNC alums make up 72% of the population of Bristol CT... and both Jay Bilas AND Jay Williams are on their payroll, your frustration is likely to continue for the next century.

..... Comments from BOTH Jim Pomeranz AND 58WolfKennel on the same column is surely an End Of Days warning !!!
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2/21/2014 10:57:46 AM

Frank Linstreet
This was Zinger-Overload. My wife called 911 when I went into convulsions over "Belmont, UAB ....... "

Then I recovered and you cold-cocked me with "just call me Dickie". Not Fair.
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AP: I never claimed to be fair.
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2/21/2014 10:46:10 AM

58 Wolf Kennel
AP, you are totally politically misguided and almost as funny as BL. Your Roy beating top four preseason pick comments were hilarious.
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AP: Yee Haaa! I just won a Snoopy Chili Dog bet with BobLee. I KNEW you would be back here for yet another "last time" encore comment. :-)
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2/21/2014 10:29:50 AM

PackGuy
".... sure my degree has zero market value but...." :-)

After that everything became a blur. I may have to reread this one a few times.
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AP: Yes, you will. It gets even better towards the end.
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2/21/2014 10:09:27 AM

DownEastDude
Can’t read it now but cracked up when I saw the title….can we hire the resident crowd counting expert to confirm there were that many people in the DES Center last night?
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AP: The record is 156,997 that swear they were in Carmichael back in the 70s when Walter Davis hit a jumper from mid-court in the "8 down w/ yadda yadda" game.

258,877 swear they were in Kenan for Gio's punt return.

UNCers are incredibly astute as claiming they were "there when".
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2/21/2014 10:00:15 AM

CRR
I don't know about "Pat" going in the rafters; but this column sure should.

THIS was a keyboard-spewer!
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AP: As always... go to BestBuy and say you read AP and BobLee.
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2/21/2014 9:46:02 AM

Lobo
"From behind a shrub in McCorkle Place, a diminutive man “just call me Dickie” was wearing a Carolina Way t-shirt and playing Hark The Sound on a kazoo."

Epic.
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AP: AND he was "wearing Florsheims". :-)
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2/21/2014 9:43:22 AM

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